Longest Post Ever.

On Wednesday the 11th, Breydon had a cardiology appointment, so Danielle and I headed up there to go to that. For once, we actually got called back early, and didnt have to wait forever to see the doctor (usually they are EXTREMELY behind. One time my dad and I waited back in the room for the doctor for over and HOUR. Thsi was after being called back for our appointment 30 min late...). But anyways, the appointment went well, and the doctor said that we could wait SIX months this time before seeing him again. Which is great! One the way home, I needed to stop at the store, so before taking Danielle home, I ran into the store and got my stuff, and then decided to check my blood pressure. It was 167/106. I grabbed the pharmicist and asked her firstly, if the machine was accurate, and then secondly, if I was doing it correctly. She watched me take it again- 158/101. The machine is accurate, and I was doing it correctly. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I called Dr. Wheeler. It was arounf 4:00 by this point, and since he is in Ft. Wayne, going there wasnt going to happen. I talked with them on the phone and they had me on bed rest that night and had me come to the office first thing in the morning.

When I got there they did the normal weighing stuff... and in 7 days, I had gained 9 pounds. I know for a FACT that its not my diet, because I havent been able to eat a lot recently. I eat just a little bit and feel full. My stomach space is being taken over by a tiny girl. :) Its mostly all water weight. Then they had me go to the room where I see the doctor, and they took my BP. 189/108. So.....  obviously not good. Dr. Wheeler is always so calm and kinda of relaxed about everything, so to see him frusterated and tense is hard for me to see. He checked on Ali via and ultrasound. He told me that she looked good, blood flow was great. For only being 32 weeks, shes big- measuring 34+5 weeks. Which will be good if thats true and shes born early... it will help her regulate her temperature better. But you never REALLY know until they are born. But she looked good. Dr. Wheeler admitted me to Dupont for monitoring... which was interesting because I wasnt expecting to be admitted, and so Breydon was with us. More on that in a minute. So we got me all situated, took some blood work, got me all hooked up. I wasnt contracting which is good. My blood pressure went down at first, for like and hour and a half, then it went back up. Who knows why, I hadnt moved the whole time I was there. Doctor didnt love that. Ali was good and moving well... he had me drink a sprite to wake her up a big and it did. So eventually I was able to go home, on STRICT bed rest... Id had only been on modified with Breydon. So this means I literally cannot get up unless I have to use the bathroom. Fun. It also means I cant play with my son, and that I cant take care of him. So he needs a babysitter even though Im sittign RIGHT here. Which sucks. I am on some medicine for my BP called Colnidine or something like that. But he only gave me 10 days worth... which shows how far he things things can go before shes born. He told me that he wants another 2 weeks, but that its probably just not going to happen.

Before I was admitted, I WAS given a shot of steroids for her lungs which I was very glad about. But because of the weather we were expecting Thurs night/ Friday, he sent us home with the second dose for someone to give me at home. A HUGE thank you to my mommy, who has NO nursing experiance whatsoever, for coming over yesterday and giving that to me. I know it made her a nervous wreck... but she did great. It hurt because its a HUGE needle, and a LOT of fluid going into my body, but it wasnt any worse than when the nurse did it. I cant thank her enough!

And then to precious Breydon, completely unaware of whats going on. Mommy laying in a hospital bed... him bopping around my room being interested in everything but being sooooo cooperative and good. I could not ask for a more well behaved kid. Seriously. He is sooooo good. Mom took him out of the room and let him run around in the lobby which helped Im sure. But he was up almost 2 hours past his normal nap time and was still being perfect. I am sooo greatful that he has his daddy's ability to adapt well to changes.

So here I am on bedrest day #3. Today is the day that Ive had enough and just might lose my mind. I have already done just about everything there is to do from the couch, and Im bored. So mostly I just sit here and think which is dangerous, because then I get sad. I dont want to see Ali struggling like Breydon did. I dont want to have to wait until shes a week old to hold my precious girl. I dont want to see her hooked up to machines and full of tubes and wires. I dont want to leave Breydon for 2 weeks, because I know he wont understand where I went and why I left him. Hes used to me being there EVERY day, all day. Hes not going to understand. And then I feel guilty because its because of me, that Alison has to be born 6 weeks before shes ready. Shes healthy! Its me thats not. So If I could just have stayed healthy for 4 more weeks, things would have been fine. But Im trying not to think about the fact that by next weekend I wont be pregnant any longer.

This is such a non-cohesive post and Im sorry... you can kinda tell how many things are jumbling my mind right now. But I wanted to say. When I was pregnant with Breydon, since we didnt know when he was concieved, we had an early ultrasound to measure him. This happened at 10 weeks. Measuring babies at that age are VERY accurate, and so we got the due date of October 6th. That was the due date we went by the ENITRE pregnancy, untill we switched solely to Wheeler the last 2.5 weeks. He for some reason moved the due date to September 29, and I dont know why. So when we delivered Breydon, according to Dr. Wheelers due date, he was 34+1 days. According to ME, and the date that we went by the entire time, he was 33+1. THIS TIME AROUND... Alison will be 33+1 days on Monday when I go see Wheeler. So any time past Monday, in MY mind, is further along than we made it with Breydon. Im guessign Wheeler is going to have us come back at the end of next week to have a baby. If not, itll be early the week after. Either way, weve got around a week till shes here. I hope and pray she makes it here safely... and I hope shes big like her brother. And I hope she does will in the NICU.